Wednesday, May 13, 2015

We went to an estate sale last week and they were having a blow out sale last night on all that was left.  I really figured I would pass on it but I got peer pressured into going.  My coworker met Chrissy there and they kept calling me to come out so I caved and went after work. Those two are nuts. We all already went through the house - in fact, Chrissy and I went through it three times b/c we brought Katherine back last week. I did get this kewpie doll that I wanted the last time but was too expensive.

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Saw this flooring truck in the Burgatory parking lot.

Monday, May 11, 2015

I woke up to this yesterday… a pup tangled up in my arms.

The Dad did what he does best - he made me an egg sandwich.

I went to the cemetery but didn't have the energy to put the flowers up so I just did a drive by and went to Dairy Queen.  The Dad is always asking for banana splits so I prepared and brought a cooler with me… it was 92 degrees out and I wasn't sure if they would make it back to the house.  I packaged them up like  I was delivering an organ.

They made it!

He enjoyed his banana split after the spoon fight. ;-)

Sunday, May 10, 2015


My mother died in 1994… almost 21 years ago. David and I were sleeping, here,  in my parent's bed when we got the call. My Dad said we should get down there. I remember getting dressed and getting another call from him shortly after.  He said I think she's gone.   We went down and she was already dead.  I can't remember if we brought Gypsy down again or not at that time.  It's things like that that I wish I could ask DCD - though he probably doesn't remember either. My mother was in the hospice that night and the two nights prior. Was she there 2 or 3 nights?? Geez,  IDK. I kept asking if she wanted me to bring the dog and she said no - until that last day.  She kept saying she wasn't ready.  That last day she said she was.  I brought the dog that afternoon and chocolate chip cookies that I made. I think I went myself. Did I? I can't remember that now either...

When my mother-in-law died, 5 years ago, we were all together in the hospital room. All the siblings and their spouses. I remember, clear as day, Tony sitting by her side checking her pulse and Paula, by the bed, saying the Act of Contrition. ;-) I remember her last breath. Even though it was a sad day, I'll always say that going out on your birthday is beyond magical… Also, clear as day, I remember all of us giving hugs and my FIL came up to me and saying, in my ear, we all just have to stick together now. Words, along with some others, that will haunt me 'till I die. I always thought that was coming from Mum. Who knows...

I remember the mother's days at the engineers club.  I remember the last one (or was it the second to the last one) that my mother was alive. She was mad, jealous even, that I was going and she threw the remote at me as I was walking out of the room. She was upset and frustrated because she wasn't feeling well. Probably much like I feel right now…

I remember all the brunches and someone pregnant (usually!) and I remember one, early on, when June pulled me aside and asked me if I was pregnant. ;-)  I wasn't at the time but  that's when flowy shirts were in and I had one on - with culottes I think. Oh, God. I actually have that shirt in my box of clothes I want to keep - along with the dress I wore to PSU graduation, the outfit I wore the first time I flew, and other utterly ridiculous things to keep.  I know, crazy...

I remember the table we were sitting at at Max and Erma's when Doug came over and spilled the beans that M&L were having twins.  I remember Dave grabbing my hand under the table and the ride home. I was happy for them, really, just sad for us.  I remember the baby shower too - I got all this stuff and made this cute basket with PGH hats and everything and it was time to go and I just couldn't do it. DCD got mad at me. I guess he just didn't understand how hard it was.

I remember sitting in the parking lot of Miracle Mile shopping center - I had just had the second miscarriage. We had Deanna on speaker phone - she called all excited and said she was pregnant. I remember Dave saying it was going to be ok.  I remember saying something about our kids would have been the same age as hers… Somehow, years later, I found out that conversation turned into me saying I didn't like her kids or something ridiculous - which is so far from the truth.  That saddens my heart, still. ;-(

I remember the three pregnancies… well the first two and the boxes of ovulation strips and pregnancy tests and hospital bands and pictures that were in the furniture I hand carved and painted that was to go in the nursery - the furniture which is now broken (and probably wet) in storage… I remember the third pregnancy and getting mad at DCD b/c S had shingles and he drank from his glass at the Central benefit and I was scared something was going to happen... And that night of the big bleed and the look on his face. Everything turned out to be ok then but a couple weeks later it wasn't. It's a weird thing going in and not seeing the heartbeat anymore on that screen. There's a hush you can feel. I remember the first time when the doctor called and said sorry for your loss and I was like it's ok and then being hopeful and then not. I remember the second time - I was by myself after the appointment in the bottom part of the parking lot of the south hills village Kohl's looking at the sonogram picture. And the third that we never really talked about and then he was gone. I remember going to the fertility clinic - alone - right after we separated... All those acupuncture treatments and all that money. God. For what?

Sometimes it seems like it was a lifetime ago and sometimes it seems like it was just yesterday.

Mother's Day isn't usually happy for me and I know it isn't for a lot of other people too.  Those I care for at work that have children that don't visit often or at all, those that regret never having children, those that were abused, those that were the abusers, those that lost their moms tragically or didn't know them at all… everyone has their story.

This is part of mine.

Saturday, May 9, 2015

I was trying to figure out what I wanted to get myself for Mother's Day… I came up with a fairy garden!

I would have liked to have gotten my very own little camper IRL but this was the best I could do.  I love the blue and white awning.

My original plan was to put it in the old pedestal sink from Dixon House but it was too small. It looked really squashed.  So, I gave the old washtub a try and think it turned out pretty cute.

All but the two little trees are my succulent friends.  I'm missing something. I just haven't found what I'm looking for yet.  Because of that, I have a box full of other stuff just waiting for a home.  My next project is 4 drawers or a small chest with winter, spring, summer, fall.  God help me. I'm a little obsessed now. ;-)

All the fairies I came across were a little too baby doll cutesy for me so I remembered a Jasmine Becket-Griffith figurine - which somehow, in all these years and all the pug stuff I've collected, I never had. Anyway, I ordered it and think they are the perfect fairy and friend.  OMG - seriously, are they not the cutest pair ever?

I decided to just do succulents in the sink. I usually have things trailing out of there but went against it. I added a little Tyberkatz Buddha pug.  Another one of my favorite things.

On a side note, I can't tell you how happy I am when I see hosta. It's weird. I wish this was a Dixon House one (I never got any) instead of a 380 auction one but still. Love.

And one more pic just because she's so adorbs. Love the Lil Bud.

I'm happy to be your dog mom.

Friday, May 8, 2015

This was kind of a random sighting. I was coming back from driving a volunteer home and was stuck in traffic - I looked over and saw this…

Yep.  That's a raccoon on the roof.  There was a young boy sitting on the porch reading a book - he was right underneath it.  I couldn't tell if the raccoon was a pet or just kind of was hanging out. The windows were open and the curtains were blowing back and forth.  I finally got up close enough and was going to tell the kid but the guy in front of me beat me to it. The boy didn't say anything - just went in the house. Finally, the raccoon slid down the post and went on his way. Weird.  Very weird.

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

We had a big outdoor event today with all three buildings.  Mr. McFeely came to visit and talked about his puppets and did trolley rides with the residents. He was very gracious and signed autographs and  posed for pictures with everyone!

He went in to visit with the bed bound residents and I remembered he left his "friends" outside - and it was starting to rain.  I ran out to save them. I had to take a pic of them before stuffing them into his duffle bag and bringing them to safety!